During our lifetime we learn many lessons. Many, I wish I had known as a kid, but grateful I have learnt them now. Personal development is about continually improving and growing. We never stop learning, and we often learn lessons that change the way we think, act, and behave. Life lessons can usually change the course of our life, sending us down a completely different path to the one we are on now.
Some lessons are simple and some more complex, yet every lesson has the potential to shape you into a more successful person. Much of these lessons come from simple little tips of advice such as these gems.
Tip #5 – Never Post Anything Negative
If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all. It is better to be humble than to be nasty and destroy a person’s confidence because you disagree with a comment they made on social media. Posting negative comments only make you look bad, not them.
The same goes for writing reviews. I often write reviews for many businesses. I am a consumer of, be it a hotel, resort, take away shop, or supermarket to name a few. I used to write both positive and negative comments. Until one day, my partner pointed out that writing a negative review about a business can really affect that business, and that I am better than that. I thought about what he said, and I immediately took down any negative review. I made a conscious decision to find the positive in every business experience I wrote a review about. I took my own advice.
If I receive a poor customer service experience, instead of posting a disparaging review I email or call the business and give them my feedback in a constructive way. Companies do not go out of their way to provide a bad customer experience. Sometimes it just happens. The best way to go about this is in a positive, constructive way. The business will thank you for the feedback and use it to improve their processes.
When giving feedback, ensure you are calm, kind, and considerate. Let the manager know of your concern or complaint. You will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. Negativity serves no purpose and only encourage more negative behaviour.
Tip #6 – Be Persistent
Do not give in to procrastination, laziness, or disappointment, and most certainly do not let negative thoughts stop you moving forward. Keep working toward your goals as consistently as possible. Set your mind on achieving your objectives every day, and this attitude will become part of your personality. If you have big dreams, work on them even if only a little bit every day. If you fail, get back up and be persistent. If you want anything in life, you need to be persistent.
Tips #7 – Learn to be Resilient
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines resilient as a. capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture and b. tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
You can do this by pushing past fears and focusing on your personal goals. Suppose you move through what scares you like facing toxic habits, dismissing unhealthy relationships, learning new skills, or jumping out of a plane. In that case, you empower yourself to recognise your value and worth. Build resiliency by facing your fears which will increase your inner strength and helps you grow in self-awareness.
Changing your mindset is the fastest way to build resilience. Using words like “don’t,” “can’t,” “no” or “won’t” are negatively associated words and often hold us back from great experiences in life. If you can change your mindset to associated favourable terms such as “can,” “will do” or “yes” you can find the freedom to explore new options. Just watch the movie YES MAN to see what I mean.
If you sometimes face adversity or struggles, you often feel overwhelmed. You may not be able to talk about what is bothering you with anyone. This often leads to a vicious cycle where nothing is ventured, and nothing gained. A terrific way to enhance your resilience and realign your needs and thoughts is through writing them down.
Take control of your life by choosing to look at adversity as empowering and start using positive words like “thriving” and “empowered.” By doing so, you will view your world from a unique perspective. Resiliency is about reframing adverse life events as a way of rising to new challenges and conquering them. When you are resilient, you will view challenges in your life as exciting and motivating, and you will start to set new goals.
Tip #8 – Be a Good Driver
How does being a good driver help with personal development?
If you turn the tables and think about all the things associated with an inconsiderate driver such as speeding, cutting people off, road rage, talking on their phones and texting while driving. You can start to appreciate the benefits that being a good driver can have on your personal development.
Firstly, nothing good comes from being an inconsiderate driver. You are either in a hurry or a stupid, reckless, selfish person. Doing any of these activities while driving can and do lead to accidents. Often causing harm to you, someone you love or someone you do not know. Furthermore, the financial cost could be detrimental to your life if you happened to injury someone or lose your licence, and you need your car for work.
I have a friend who continues to speed, talk on the phone and texts, and yes, they are stupid, reckless, and selfish. The amount of money they have spent on fines and court cases could have bought them a house. Why waste money and risk your life or someone else’s just to get from A to B a little quicker, makes no sense. There is a technology called hands free, and that text message will still be there when you get to your destination. If the text message is that crucial pullover, better still turn your phone to send a text that you are driving and cannot answer the phone.
A good driver learns patience and resilience. Often you are more alert with what is going on around you. I have avoided many near misses by other people because I was driving slowly, being careful and being alert. We cannot always predicate what another driver may do. However, if you drive carefully, within the speed limit and focus on your surroundings, you build confidence, patience, and resilience. Also, I find that I am stress-free, even when some loon gives me the bird or honks their horn.
Oh, by the way, a good driver is one who lets a car in and waves when someone lets them in.
Tip #9 – Groom Yourself
Most women I know do this very well; however, many men I know do not. Grooming yourself is a part of your self-care and is recommended daily. My sister Simone (A expert groomer) once said to me, “You must always look your best because you never know who you might meet”. She never left the house unless she was looking her best, and I challenge you to do the same.
Men often think that grooming is for women. However, many men are engaging in grooming these days, and many businesses now cater to men only grooming. Men have rougher skin than women and sometimes require different products. A product I have recently come across and is impressive. The LUMIN range of skin products for men, check them out here LUMIN Store they offer a ridiculously cheap trial, and I was so impressed I bought more products.
When it comes to grooming, include these into your daily routine.
Good Hair Care- Keep your hair clean and styled. Use good products to wash and stay away from parabens or other chemicals. Find a styling agent that works for your hair, ask a barber or a hairstylist to help you if in doubt. My parents always had great hair. Great hair shows people you take pride in your appearance.
Good Teeth Care- Brush your teeth and floss as often as possible, minimum twice a day. Make sure you see the dentist every 6 months, even for a scale and clean. When you have nice clean teeth, you tend to smile more often, showing you are happy, confident, and friendly.
Good Face Care- Use good products and clean your face daily. If you have facial hair keep it neat and tidy including the nose and ear hair. Using a good moisturiser can help with any dry skin.
Good Nail Care- Ensure you keep your nails clean and neat. Men do not be afraid to have a manicure and pedicure they are amazing, and a well-kept set of nails can say a lot about a person.
Tip #10 – Drink Water
Water has so many benefits to your health and wellbeing and should be a massive part of your nutrition plan. I carry a generous size VOSS water bottle and fill it as I need it. The large bottle is 800ml, and I make sure I drink 2.5 of them per day. However, you may need more or less depending on your body type and activation levels. I like the VOSS bottle because it is made of glass, suitable water bottle made from a substance such as glass, or metals are a better choice than plastic.
Benefits of drinking water include (BBC Good food 2021)
- It may improve memory and mood.
- It can help reduce sugar cravings and aid weight maintenance.
- It may improve exercise performance.
- It may reduce headaches and migraines.
- It may help prevent constipation in children and adults.
- It may help to prevent kidney stones.
- It may help reduce the risk of bladder infections
These are great reasons to drink plenty of water, so do your body a favour and drink up. If you dislike water, try lemon, lime, cucumber, or strawberry-infused water a delicious treat.
Personal Development Tips 1-4
Recently I read an amazing book that has motivated me to commit to writing and posting more often than I have been. The book I read is called NOT A LIFE COACH by James Smith, I highly recommend you check it out, a great and often funny read. The book reminded me of many things and also taught me a thing or two, mainly that to achieve my dreams I need to work harder than I ever have before. I am not afraid of hard work therefore, the first step for me is to nurture this blog by committing to providing everyone 365 tips. This of course just the tip of the iceberg, so watch this space a lot planned for 2021.
Here are the first 4 tips enjoy!
Tip #1 – Stop Making New Year’s Resolutions
As we enter another new year many of us will set new year’s resolutions which according to the oxford dictionary is ‘a firm decision to do or not to do something’.
Often people who make a New year’s resolutions a huge percentage of these people, are making the same resolutions in 12 months’ time. Are you one of these people, that year after year you set new year’s resolutions but by the time Easter comes around you have settled back into your old habits or given up on the resolutions all together as it was just too hard?
There is a good reason why we continue failing at the resolutions we set every new year. In mostly all cases we do not have a plan.
The resolution is a firm decision to do something. You make a decision such as lose some weight, join a gym, eat better, save more money, etc, but for the majority of people this is where the resolution fails. The reason here is simple you have only made a decision. Your decision needs a plan, starting with a smart goal. A smart goal is a great way to ensure you have planned your resolution properly.
Something you can stick to
Measureable, How do you know you are achieving this goal?
Achievable, How are you going to achieve this goal?
Realistic, Is your goal a realistic goal or is it just impossible to achieve?
Time, does you goal have a time when you will achieve this by?
Planning when to start is equally important. The resolution you made at New year’s would normally start on the worst time of year, January 1st. Instead of making your resolutions to start January 1st, think about the best possible time that you can start your smart goal that you can stick to for at least 21 days. According to Dr Maxwell Maltz a plastic surgeon in the 1950s published his findings and found that it takes 21 days to form a habit. If you have anything going on between January 1st and January 21st that would hinder your smart goal, then change your start date.
Furthermore, you may lack direction, knowledge, motivation, and determination to achieve the resolution.
Often your resolution is unachievable. Many people overestimate just how hard it can be to achieve a goal like lose weight or change your eating habits. If you have made the same resolution year after year then it is time to stop and think about why you are not achieving the goal. Maybe you need professional help.
Personal development is about setting and achieving goals to become better. Therefore say no to resolutions and yes to smart goals. Set these goals whenever you feel the need to achieve something. Do not be governed by a New Year and always remember to make a plan because failing to plan is planning is fail.
Tip #2 – Start Saving Money Every Week
If you read any type of financial, how to become rich books, you will find than most financial Gurus will say save at least 10% of what you earn every week. I know from experience this is not always that easy and more often than we do not save any money at all.
A tip I was given when I was very young was to save your money, I only took on this advice when I had kids of my own, but it is never too late to start saving. Save something, anything, just save something each week no matter what. Start small and build it up.
I have found what works for me is to find a savings account that you can set up on a direct debit, with the highest percentage rate you can find. Once you set it up just leave and forget about it. Start with as little as $10 per week and before you know it you will start to see a nice nest egg. I have done this for my kids as well.
Did you know if you saved $100 per week you would have $5,200 in the bank at the end of the year with interest, even at 2% you would have $5,304 which would compound as each year progresses, (Year 2 $10,714), (Year 3 $16,232), (Year 4 $21,860) not bad for 4 years approx $1000 of free money in 4 years.
Tip #3 – Work Out (Exercise) Everyday
Need I say anymore on this topic?
There is a mountain of evidence that exercise improves you in more ways that you can count, here are some of my favourite things exercising can do for you.
- Makes you happier
- Better posture and strong core
- You sleep better
- Breath better
- Gives you more confidence
- You can avoid nasty illness
- Avoid getting diabetes
- Increase blood supply to your vital organs
- Avoid heart damage or a stroke
- Become more youthful
- And best of all you can look hot in the mirror naked
Tip #4 – Learn Something New Everyday
There are many things that can be satisfying and learning something new is definitely at the top of the list for me. I love it when I learn something new everyday especially with the plethora of information available to learn. I especially like learning new things out of my scope of expertise and find it especially useful in my personal development, for example new words, trivia, history or a new skill to name a few.
What I recently found interesting is that we often don’t know what we think we know until we don’t know. Confused?
Let me put it into perspective. I consider myself pretty intelligent and think I know the meaning of English words, that is until I used a word recently and my 6 year old son asked me what does that word mean.
I was caught off guard and thought how do I explain a word in a way that a 6 year old can understand without asking more questions. Not as easy as it sounds, let me tell you. What I have learnt is that I have become complacent with the English language and taken words for granted. I have never thought about the meaning of a word until I had to explain it so that a 6 year old can understand, thank God for Google.
Personal development is all about learning news things. However, challenge yourself to learn things you know nothing about. Watch documentaries, read books on topics you are unfamiliar with, learn a new skill on LinkedIn learning, there are a plethora of ways to learn something new. Google is a great place to start.
When I discovered the below message in one of my inspirational quote apps, I had an instant liking and needed to share.
The message is simple, but do we really follow such simple advice? Many people think about eating and exercising well, but they often forget to exercise their minds, emotions and spirituality.
What are you watching?
What you watch, be it on TV, the internet, social media etc. can have a profound effect on your mood and your personal development (PD).
Try swapping your regular TV shows for documentaries, lifestyle programs, or quiz shows. You never know what you will discover or learn. The local news can often be full of doom and gloom stories. Try watching fun news which focuses on happy uplifting stories, or better still try to avoid local news altogether.
Some great things to watch on the internet are Ted Talks and Video blogs. If you are interested in learning try watching, educational webinars, or instructional videos. LinkedIn Learning and Youtube have a plethora of instructional videos to learn just about anything.
However you can not go past a good comedy movie that makes you laugh. Laughter is good for your mood and your emotional state.
What are you Listening to?
Very much like watching, listening can also have a profound effect on your mood and your PD. A song that always puts me in a great mood is Dolly Parton’s song “Applejack”, the song is upbeat and happy.
For something more educational, try listening to audio books or some podcasts for inspiring digital media stories. Apart from digital media, listening to the right people is also a very useful. Find people who you admire and listen to what they have to say. Surround yourself with positive speaking people. Avoid people who are negative, be it gossip or someone who always gives you bad news.
Sometimes those people can be close to us, be it a parent, friend or manager at work. The key is to avoid those people as much as possible. If you cannot cute them out of your life or move on if the working environment is always in a negative state. You do not have to listen to negativity it serves no purpose and will shatter your confidence.
What are you Reading?
Reading is a very powerful tool for your PD. Reading increases your knowledge, reading can be far more powerful than watching or listening as it can help you with your pronunciation, grammar, spelling and how to use those big words. Of course, what you are reading is equally important but as I have learnt from teaching my young son to read, you can learn a lot from reading children’s books, (for example, the English language is so freakin hard).
Some advice I was once given was to find one word from the dictionary you don’t know, learn the meaning and use it in a sentence sometime in your week. I had an old boss who used to come up with a word I had never heard of at every weekly managers meeting. I later discovered he used this technique, it gave the impression he was very intelligent.
Find topics that interest you and that you know nothing about, you may be surprised by what you discover when reading.
Who do you hang out with?
I know from experience that the people that you surround yourself with is a direct reflection on how you life is at that given moment. If you want good things in your life hang out with good people. If you want wealth in your life hang out with wealthy people, if you want calm and serenity hang out with calm, serene people so on and so forth… a no brainer.
If you do not like your current situation take a look at who you are hanging out with, your answer lies within these people.
What do you subject you mind and soul to?
Happy people make people happy, a favourite saying that I think of constantly. Have you ever been to Disneyland? It is called the happiness place on earth because you just can’t be sad there.
Your mind and soul work best in the positive state, joyfulness, happiness, friendliness, kindness, smiling and laughter. Subjecting your mind to positive thinking and you get more positivity in your life.
The law of attraction states that what happens to you is a direct result of what you attract. If you think negative thoughts, bad stuff seems to happen to you. You can’t always get what you want, so stop asking. Instead subject your mind and soul to positive thoughts.
Try this example- Before you get out of bed each morning say to yourself “Today is going to be the best day I have ever had”, have a big stretch and leap out of bed. Try not to go back to sleep, just get up and embrace the day. During the day if you come across any negativity just smile, and brush it off. I often say “no negativity is going to surround me today”.
You can choose to be negative or change your mindset and be happy, we all have that choice. I choose positivity!
Are you being mindful of what goes into your body?
There are many things bad going into our bodies everyday which are out of our control, for example air pollution. We can reduce the bad things by removing ourselves from the situation.
However, what you can control but often don’t can cause ever more harm. For example, sugar, alcohol, smoking, drugs, processed foods, and fatty foods. Over the past three months I have reduced my sugar intake by 80%, sugar is in everything so hard to avoid completely.
I dropped all foods that have obvious sugar such as chocolate, lollies, chips, energy drinks, soft drinks, cakes etc.
I dropped all processed meats, salamis, ham, bacon etc. I reduced take away to one day a week and dropped bread, pasta and potatoes. I have not had a drink in almost two years so that was a no brainer.
I increased my water, fruit, vegetables and nut intake. In just under three months I have lost a huge amount of body fat, weigh less on the scales, my skin is clear and glowing and best of all my digestive system is working like clockwork.
Having a good diet makes the world of difference to your body both inside out, emotionally and spiritually. You can think clearer, sleep better, wake up feeling refreshed and have more confidence.
Personal development is a combination of everything you put into your body, mind and soul.
Be the Best Version of Yourself!
Please leave comments if you like my post, and please share to help me grow so I can blog full time.