To make a change in your life, you must start with the question Why. Why do you want to make a change? It is a very confronting question when you think about it carefully. Think long and hard about this question, because the answer will be your greatest motivation.
Once you have found the answer to
why you want to make a change. You then need to dig deep and create some goals on
how you are going to make the changes to yourself and your life to achieve your
why. The most important thing when creating your why is the make sure it is
your reason not someone else’s. If the reason is not yours, you will fail to
achieve the outcome of changing your life for the better.
Activity: Sit down and write out a list of reasons why you want to make a change. Be as brave and as bold as you like. Think of a minimum ten whys. There needs to be a WHY for every part of your life you want to change.
To get you started here are some common reasons:
- Become a better person, better partner, better father/mother
- Learn to be professional, more confident, increase your self esteem
- Become stronger, fitter, healthier
- Become more educated, less ignorant, more intelligent
- Look better, dress better, smell better
- Communicate better, speak clearer, use and understand the English language better
Now you have your reasons, you now need to put these reasons into goals so you can start creating this new you. Start with ensuring that your reasons are very clear, so you can create goals that are also clear.
In my Life coaching and Personal training business I start by asking my clients, why they want to make a change. This is before I ask them their goals or any other questions.
I often hear from my clients that they want to make a change for any of a dozen reasons, which is great, when I ask why I often hear them say “I am doing this for my children”, or “my partner wants me to lose weight”. This is when I say “Stop”, these are not your reasons, lets start again. Many are puzzled by this reaction but let me tell you the reasons must be yours, they cannot be for someone else. I think it is great people think this way, but you must be saying I am doing this for me so that I can play with my kids. I am doing this for me, so I can be a better husband for my wife. Only then can your really own the reason and start to make a change.
Doing something for someone else, usually ends in regret and often disaster, especially if your fail to achieve something that some else wants. A lot of pressure can be put on you so please do it for yourself. Of course, you will need the support of people around you. Now you have your reason lets begin with creating goals to match those reasons and put them into action
Be your best
Have you ever thought to yourself how you got so out of shape? Usually, life gets in the way and we end up compromising our health and fitness for marriage, work, kids and life in general. We are so busy living we think we have no time to exercise. Then one day we wake up tired, overweight, old looking, unfit and depressed. Sound like you?
I have trained hundreds of men and women who have all thought this exact thing but just don’t know how to make a change, their lives have become such a routine that they do not have the motivation or inspiration to make a change, some people do not know where to start, do not have the time, money or both.
Let me tell you that if you do not make a change now, you will have time to be sick and that sickness could cost you a lot more than just time and money. I understand just how hard it is to start on a healthy life path and stick to it. I myself are constantly challenged everyday. However, it does not have to be hard, hurt or be time-consuming, all you need to do is find what is going to fit into your weekly routine. I will not lie, it will be very hard in the beginning but I promise you if you stick to it, it will become easier and you may even fall in love with your new lifestyle.
How to start- Step One is to evaluate your fitness and overall health. If you have not exercised if over 12 months or are in extremely poor condition, then may I suggest you go to your doctor and get a full physical. This is extremely important as you may be boarding on a variety of different illnesses and exercising could trigger a really bad reaction, for example, a heart attack. Get a doctors clearance.
Step Two is to think about what exercise is going to work for you and something that you are going to stick with. I recommend joining a gym but if you can not afford a gym then there are a plethora of exercise groups that are free, such as walking groups, running groups etc. There are many inexpensive options for joining a gym such as off-peak memberships, these can be as little as $5 a week, that’s only one coffee is some areas. Sometimes we have to give up some of our luxury items to make these changes. If money is no option find a gym that works for you, again many options. I use a 24-hour small size gym as it works for me.
Much research has been done on people using a gym and it has been found that, the majority of people who join a gym will not go more than 5km to a gym that is either from work or home. Therefore find the closest gym to your home or work. Try before you buy, just about every gym will give you some sort of deal, like a 7-day pass.
Step Three Get started, start slowly and build yourself up. Slow and steady will be the key to your success. This is some really important advice. I have seen time and time again clients start a gym routine all gung ho, they try to train like they are in their twenties and it always ends in them quitting. You must take it slow and make gradual changes, remember that you are making a lifestyle change, a change to last the rest of your life and it can take a long time to change.
Unfortunately there is no quick fix. Reality shows like the biggest loser where contestants lose a huge amount of weight in a very short time is not a reality, most contestants put all the weight back on soon after the show finishes and their fame fades back to their old life. However, it is possible to lose a huge amount of weight in a controlled environment, but is it the safest and best way?
Step Four Get yourself a program. The program is your guide to your training. It could be a weight/strength training program, cardio-vascular program or as I advise a combination of the two. To be successful you need to do some form of weight training (see future bogs on various weight training routines) for strength combined with a cardiovascular program for your fitness.
I will be providing many various generic programs in future blogs, however, if you can not wait and would like a personalised program I can write one for you for a small fee. Please email me at email@example.com and I will provide you with a template to complete.
Be the best man you can be- Physically
I was born into a world of wonder and excitement in 1972. The swinging sixties were over, and the world was changing.
I was born in Australia in the western suburbs of NSW. I was smaller than the average boy, with partial mix race, my grandfather on my father’s side was Maori and my grandfather on my Mother’s side was European. My grandmothers were both born in Australia as were my parents.
I wasn’t the normal size for an Islander descendant and quite small for my age, shy, adventurous and a little effeminate. I did not have any communication skills, or confidence and I don’t remember having many friends.
Our life as I can remember it was good.
I have two sisters, one older and one younger. We were better off than the average person, living the great Australian dream. It was to be a wonderful time in my life, until the dreaded day it all came crashing down.
My father’s infidelity destroyed everything, and our happy life came like a major car crash. He moved out and we moved on. It was the summer of 1979, my mother remarried, and we moved closer to my mothers’ parents in Manly NSW. The life I knew was now a distant memory, I had to try to fit into a new life which is not easy when you are an outsider.
We lived by the beach in a very nice part of Sydney’s Northern beaches, coming from the western suburbs this was a major change of scenery. The only issue was I didn’t fit in, rather a normal pattern for me. I was picked on and bullied relentlessly from the first day of school, I had no friends and our life at home was darken by domestic violence and alcoholism from my stepfather.
Each day I had to live a lie, put on a happy face as they say, and try to hide the torture of life at home. Life was terrible for me, I became a loner, I loved to be alone and would often disappear for hours in a day, finding solitude in my adventures and pretending I was someone else, living in a different family, a different life.
Although I really loved school and was very good at it, life for me at school was awful. I was consistently bullied for being smart, which continued into my high school years which only got worse, I basically threw away my education, so I wouldn’t be bullied or beaten up which was a daily occurrence. In 1982, my mother had my stepfather arrested after she had enough of the beatings, soon after this, they divorced, and we were left alone and broke. I was broken and damaged emotionally.
By the time I had reached year 10, I was uneducated due to my lack of school days, I was physically and emotionally drained from the constant bullying, I felt no love or support from my mother who had to work day and night to support us, my sisters did not want to associate with me and I was questioning my sexual orientation. I was confused, angry and lonely. I didn’t have many friends and was miserable.
Although through all my adversity I had faith that life must be better than this, what I needed was a change of pace and that started me off into a journey of self-discovery and building a solid skill set.
working and chasing dream, after dream, chasing job after job trying to find
what I loved to do. I didn’t love any jobs I had, and I continued to search for
something that I really loved doing, besides I was also enjoying my twenties,
partying a lot.
Maybe too much, I partied for ten years and by the time I reached 29, I was underweight, had a poor diet and drinking a little more than I should be. I was basically homeless, poor and in debt. I was angry, bitter and nasty. I have given up on love and was very reckless burning the candle at both ends. Something had to give. I was extremely tired of the partying, endless moves, chasing jobs I didn’t like and numerous so-called friends. I was partied out, burnt out and I needed to change. However, I had thought I had no escape this is the only life I knew.
Then in September 2001, all that changed, when I meet my future partner.
We had an instant connection. A connection that would see us build an incredible life together with so many great adventures, many ups with very few downs. It is often said that there is one person for everyone on this planet, whether it is your soul mate, best friend or partner I knew that I had found mine. I did not really believe in this saying prior to this chance encounter but truly believe it now.
My partner saved my life, no kid of a lie. If I had continued this same path I am not exactly sure where I would be today, but I doubt it would be writing this blog.
Over the next ten years, I made some momentous changes. I used the skills and lessons I learned over the years to find my passion, inspiration and motivation, which lead me to the world of Personal/Professional development, Health, Fitness, Nutrition, Life coaching and Business.
Hi, my name is Marc Matthews-Indovino and I am going to share with you what I did to change my life. Increase my self-esteem, overcome adversity and increase my confidence.
How I became wealthier, stronger, fitter, friendlier, happier and at the same time become a professional person, a better man, partner and friend. I want to share with you how I did all that and created a wonderful life, using skills learnt from my past jobs, and advice from mentors, books and educational seminars.
How I used education to become smarter, fitter, stronger. To finally buying a home and starting a family.
This blog is a story of life lessons, what I learnt and how I used what I learnt to change my life for the better. I want to help guide all those that might need a little or a lot of help to be a better person.
I used to think that being twenty was the best thing ever. I still think this way but being in my forties and now almost fifty, everything is even better, harder but a lot better than twenty. I love the fact that I made a change just in time and with this wisdom and maturity, I want to help as many people make a change to become the best person that you can.
Be the Best Person you can be
The meaning of Art
‘the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power’.
The meaning of Personal
‘belonging to or affecting a particular person rather than anyone else’.
The meaning of Development
‘the process of developing or being developed, a specified state of growth or advancement, a new and advanced product or idea’.
My meaning of The Art of Personal Development
Developing yourself and expressing your creative skill in the form of yourself.
Showing the world that you are the best version of yourself, and that you strive to be even better every day.
Being better physically, emotionally, internally and externally.
Striving to be well informed, well educated, wealthier, smarter, kinder, generous and gentler.
Striving to eliminate thoughts of anger, hatred, envy, greed, lust, gluttony, negative thoughts, ignorance and laziness.
Strive to protect the vulnerable, be kind and gentle to children, the elderly and animals.
Strive to improve yourself and the world you live in, the environment, your community, your home, your family, and your friends.
Strive for being happy, friendly, caring, thoughtful, self-less, patient and positive.
You can achieve all of this. Find what is holding you back and what areas you need to personally develop, come on a journey with me of discovery.
Be the best version of yourself you can be.